Last week, we talked about auditing our calendars to find "energy leaks." The easy part is identifying the meetings and tasks that drain us. The hard part is actually doing something about it.

The hard part is saying "no."

For many of us, especially women in leadership roles, "no" can feel like a loaded word. We worry about being seen as unhelpful, not a team player, or difficult. We feel a sense of obligation, or we say "yes" out of guilt, only to resent the decision later when our energy is gone and our most important work is left undone.

During perimenopause, when our energy is already a precious and finite resource, protecting it becomes a non-negotiable leadership skill. I had to learn that saying "no" to the wrong things is actually saying "yes" to the right things: my key priorities, my deep work, and my own well-being.

It took practice, but I developed a set of simple, graceful scripts that allow me to set boundaries clearly and respectfully. They are my tools for enforcing the rules I created in my energy audit.

Here are a few of my most-used scripts. Feel free to steal them.

Scenario 1: The Vague "Catch-Up" or "Pick Your Brain" Request

This is often an energy leak in disguise. Your goal is to turn a vague request into a specific one, so you can assess if it's worth your time.

Your Script: "Thanks so much for reaching out! I'm trying to be more disciplined with my schedule at the moment to stay focused on my key projects. Could you send me a few bullet points on what you'd like to discuss? That will help me make sure I'm the right person to help and that we can make the best use of our time."

Why it works: It's polite, professional, and puts the onus back on the requester to clarify their needs. 9 times out of 10, they either solve the problem themselves or come back with a much more focused agenda.

Scenario 2: The "Can you just..." Interruption When You're in Deep Work

This is a major focus killer. Your goal is to redirect the interruption without being dismissive.

Your Script: "That's a great question. I'm in the middle of some deep work right now and can't give this the attention it deserves. Could you bring it to my 'Office Hours' at [Time/Day]? Or, if it's urgent, send me a quick email with the details and I'll look at it as soon as I have a break."

Why it works: It validates their question ("That's a great question"), explains why you can't engage now ("I'm in deep work"), and provides two clear alternative paths for them to follow.

Scenario 3: The Meeting You've Been Invited to "FYI" (For Your Information)

Being a passive attendee in a meeting where you have no active role is a massive energy drain. Your goal is to politely opt-out while still showing support.

Your Script: "Thanks for including me in this. Based on the agenda, it looks like my role would mostly be to stay informed. To help everyone keep the meeting as lean as possible, I'm going to sit this one out. Please send me the key takeaways or action items afterward. I trust your judgment on the decisions."

Why it works: It frames your "no" as a benefit to everyone else ("keep the meeting lean"). It shows you trust your team ("I trust your judgment") and offers a clear way to stay in the loop.

Saying "no" isn't about shutting people out. It's about strategically allocating your most valuable resource: your energy. Each of these scripts is a tool to help you do just that—politely, professionally, and without an ounce of guilt.

All the best,

Sonja Rincón

Founder & CEO, Menotracker